I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
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