Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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