Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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