You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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