do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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