Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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