im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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