You made me cry and you don't even care
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize