I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize