The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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