is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
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incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
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His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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