Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
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we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
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Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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