Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize