I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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