I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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