im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize