ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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