enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
If its not for food we ain't going out.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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