We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize