Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize