i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize