He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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