There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
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you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
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My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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