hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
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It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
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I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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