Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize