We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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