he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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