tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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