just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize