she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize