dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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