True but thats because hes a fetus.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize