I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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