is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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