All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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