just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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