ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
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We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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