i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize