She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
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