I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
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I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
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I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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