my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were destined to go to rehab together
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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