If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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