Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
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Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
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I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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