I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
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I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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