Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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