It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize