lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
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