She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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