dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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