So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
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A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
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Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize